The Psychology of Harm and the Sadness of Misguided Healing
There’s a painful truth in what we’re witnessing right now. President Trump’s behavior—the dismissals, the humiliations, the destruction—is not strength. It’s the result of deep, unhealed wounds. He is a person in pain, a man whose actions reveal layers of rejection, shame, and sadness that he has never addressed. Instead of healing, he overcompensates with power, control, and cruelty, pulling others into his orbit of unhealed trauma.
And here’s the most heartbreaking part: it’s working. Not in the way he hopes—because these tactics will never bring him peace—but in how he’s attracting others who are equally hurt, equally lost, equally desperate to feel whole, and equally clueless about how to heal healthily. His supporters see him as someone who reflects them in many superficial, but underneath that, he showcases their own pain. I believe what they feel for him is empathy. They align with his anger because they recognize their own, but they’ve been misled into believing that anger, division, and scapegoating will lead to healing.
It won’t.
Healing doesn’t come from destroying others, silencing their voices, or taking away their rights. It doesn’t come from surrounding yourself with bullies or perpetuating harm. True healing requires courage—the courage to face your pain, to take responsibility for your actions, and to rebuild yourself from the inside out.
The reality television show we’re watching reveals the opposite of healing. It’s a cycle of harm, where trauma feeds trauma, where pain is deflected outward instead of confronted within. And while I have immense compassion for anyone carrying wounds that deep—Trump included—it doesn’t mean we can follow them down this destructive path.
A Sad but Clear Reality
For those of us watching this unfold, it’s incredibly sad. Trump’s children are case studies in generational trauma, and the people supporting Trump believe they’re helping him and themselves, but they’re not. Instead they’re making enemies of people who could be allies. They’re creating division where there could be connection. They’re building walls around their pain instead of opening themselves to healing.
This is not a path that leads to recovery. It’s a path that deepens wounds—for everyone involved.
What Can We Do?
As hard as it is to watch, we have to approach this moment with clarity and intention. Here’s how we can respond:
Hold Compassion While Setting Boundaries: Compassion doesn’t mean enabling harm. We can acknowledge the pain behind someone’s actions without tolerating the actions themselves. Trump and his supporters are hurting, but their behaviors are not acceptable or excusable.
Refuse to Be Pulled In: When someone’s trauma is on full display, as is now televised from the White House, it can feel instinctive to try to change or save them. But we can’t fix unhealed people. They must choose healing for themselves. Our role is to protect ourselves and others from the harm they may cause while holding space for the possibility of their growth. Mind you, we cannot idly wait for their growth because it may not happen. We must remain proactive.
Focus on Our Own Healing: We can’t change the choices others make, but we can choose how we respond. By prioritizing our mental health, building strong, supportive communities, and refusing to perpetuate harm, we create a different, healthier path.
Stand in Truth: Lies, fear, and division can only thrive in the absence of truth. Speak it. Live it. Use it to guide your decisions.
A Choice We Must Make
At the end of the day, we have a choice: we can engage in the chaos of unhealed pain, or we can choose a different way. I hope we all choose healing—not just for ourselves, but for the people who will come after us.
If there’s one thing I want you to remember, it’s this: you are not responsible for fixing someone else’s wounds, no matter how glaring or painful they may be. You can love them from a distance. You can hope for their healing. But you must also protect your own peace.
With compassion and care,
Rashida
